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See that ye refuse not him that speaketh.  For if they escaped not who refused him that spake on earth, much more shall not we escape, if we turn away from him that speaketh from heaven: (Hebrews 12:25)

Our topic for the past two weeks has been on the importance of “listening.” As mentioned previously, our Father in heaven speaks to us in four distinct ways.  So far, we have discussed two of those ways: through the blood of Christ and through His Word.  Today, we will discuss the third way in which God speaks to us.

Remember, bad things happen when we do not pay attention. This concept of listening is not just hearing; the idea is listening with the full intention of heeding what is said.

The third way in which God speaks to us is through His Spirit. Hebrews 3:7-8 says, “Wherefore as the Holy Ghost saith, To day if ye will hear his voice, Harden not your hearts.” Often, we get so busy in our lives, that we do not take time to listen to God.  We do not allow Him to speak to our hearts.  In all of the action and activity of life, we must carve out, on a regular basis, quiet time where we can listen to God.  Before we launch out to face the adversity and pressure of the day, we need to allow Him to speak to us.  Every child of God has the internal voice of the Spirit of God speaking.  That voice is the voice of the Author of the Scripture.  He will take the Word and apply it to our lives, if we will heed His voice.

The Holy Spirit makes application of what we read and hear, and helps us interpret the Scriptures correctly.  It is miraculous that God takes the same Bible and applies it to the individual lives of millions of believers all around the world.

All of us, regardless of how long we have been saved and what our spiritual maturity level is, have different struggles and issues and problems that we are facing.  God also knows what problems we will face in the future.

Many times, people have said to me, “Pastor Kingsbury, something I heard from God last Sunday really helped me this week.”  That was the Spirit applying the Word to someone’s heart in advance to prepare them for adversity.  If you are so busy, with so much activity going on, that you cannot take time to prepare your heart for the Spirit to teach you what you need to learn, you are going to miss out on His training and the benefit of His encouragement and teaching to help you live the Christian life.

Listen to Him today!  If you have not already, STOP!  Slow down and listen to His Spirit.  Hear Him and heed what He tells you to do.  Have YOU talked to Him today?

Have a wonderful day IN the Lord!
Dr. Paul A. Kingsbury

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RU Sunday School Class

If you do not have your RU Sunday School class activated, we strongly encourage you to do so. The ultimate the goal of Reformers Unanimous is to get people connected Christ and to His local church, as it remains God’s support group to minister to addicted people. A few ideas to help you implement or IMPROVE the RU Sunday School class:

1. We follow a similar format as Friday night, just somewhat different. First, we talk to each other through fellowship. Many of us get there early and have coffee and a Danish of sorts.  Though sometimes it leads to actual counsel, often it’s just friendly fellowship.  Second, we “officially” open class by talking to God in prayer and testimonies. This is done in a briefer format. Here in Rockford, we dedicate 10 minutes to popcorn testimonies (people just pop out short testimonies of God’s goodness).  And third, God talks to us through the message.
2. The curriculum for the Sunday School class has many options. One, you can use the Nevertheless I Live book, but at the other end of the book (i.e., if you are in chapter one on Friday, be in chapter 6 on Sunday or chapter 3 vs. chapter 9).  Or, you can use the Tall Law or Umbrella Fella Sunday School curriculum which has a teacher’s guides and corresponding student’s guides.  These should be purchased by the student separately. Battleship is a great 8-12 week study as well!  Or, thirdly, you can teach through what your church uses for their Sunday School class, but make sure you are angling it all toward teaching the crucified Christian life, and not a “try harder to do better” mentality.
3. In the starting of your 2nd RU class, be careful not to mandate that all of your leadership or even longer attending students attend without your pastor’s approval. The truth is you should build this class with people from your community. This does not mean that it would not be helpful to have a handful of workers from your church join your students, particularly your leadership if available. This should be navigated with your pastor as not to hurt other ministries already operating in your church.  Don’t start a R.U.S.S. ministry (RU Sunday School Class) and then take students or your class leadership from other classes.  It only leads to resentment.  We should always be known as the church’s primary ministry that produces fruit, not plucks fruit.
4. However, if I were your director, I would watch the parking lot AFTER SS to  look for people coming in to church that do not appear to attend a Sunday School class and ask them to consider visiting your RU class for some intense discipleship.   This could be a way to gain more people from the church on Friday night.
5. Remember.  Though most every church at first considers it an extra, unnecessary ministry, they soon realize it is just too big of a stretch to expect addicts to assimilate into our SS formats in their earliest months of recovery.  Let them have their own group until they are comfortable around the church folk and then let them augment into the ministry.  We don’t make the singles hang out with the seniors, or the young married’s with the teens.  If they can have a clique for such a time as this, so ought the “newbee’s” who have just come to believe and are looking to be received.

I think all of this indicates that an RU Sunday school class is not only a wise ministry to have within your chapter, it is an integral ministry.

Kidz Club

In the early years, we’ve had some chapters that did not start out with a Kidz Club in their chapter. Today, we highly discourage this.  Why?  Because not only do the addicts coming to the your RU class have kids between 6 and 12 years old that need something worthwhile  in which to participate, but the workers have children who need the same.  We have observed that chapters who failed to start a Kidz Club when they first began, but subsequently started within the first 18 months invariably doubled the size of their class within just a few short months.  They also saw a greater consistency in student attendance, leadership retention and a general lowering of recidivism back into the world.   I think all of this proves it also is not only a wise ministry to have within your chapter, it is an integral ministry.

RIP

We also highly recommend established chapters to start a RIP (Reformers Institutional Program) ministry in the county jail or area prison or both. It will not only reach the incarcerated, whom are in the jail for minor skirmishes with the law up to charges that have a maximum of 364 days, but their family members as well. Most county incarcerated are blue collar and even white collar who are there for 60 days or less stints in the county clink for offenses from writing bad checks, dui, driving without insurance, domestic issues or other intoxicating issues that all but guarantee they need your program as a “get out of jail free” card.  I have KEY and I mean KEY staff that I first met and ministered to while they were incarcerated in the county jail.  Your efforts on the behalf of your county law enforcement will also provides an opportunity for you to personally reduce recidivism in your community upon their release by plugging them into a Friday night RU and your local New Testament church. All of these ideas will increase your effectiveness in ministering to the addicted.

I think all of this proves it is also not only a wise ministry to have within your chapter, it is an integral ministry.

In closing on these three ministries, we have tools and training available for all three of these programs.  If you do not currently have a 2nd RU Class on Sunday, an RU children’s program, or a RIP program, please call us. We have supplementary kits that can get you started right away ministering in these three additional ways.  Expand your ministry.  Costs are extremely minimal and the benefits are huge)

Summer Advertising

Addicts ALWAYS want to sober up on January 1^st (New Year’s Resolutions!) and on June 1^st (They want a sober summer!).  It is now that time of year when the weather begins to break from the cold! We recommend that you prepare for the summer by stocking up on your advertising and implementing a strong summer Battle is ON! Strategy.  It’s so easy and your students WILL follow a motivated leader into enemy territory to look for soldiers will to defect to the Lords Army.  If you will motivate, they will participate!!  It would be a good idea to reactivate your bar drops, along with your community outreach poster drives on Saturday with your students.

We give out envelops with 7 tracts to all students who raise their hand to give them out over the course of a week or so and we do this LITERALLY every week.  You can’t go wrong with our high quality, low cost tracts!  Our church handbills are designed for YOUR church bulletin.  You just have to follow it up with an announcement to the church member for each to PLEASE post in a prominent place or distribute with a heart of grace.

If nothing else, lay out your ENTIRE advertising package you received with your starter kit on an 8-foot table and encourage your people to distribute at their leisure and announce it every Friday and or Sunday.  C’mon Directors, “if you do what you’ve always done, you will get what you’ve always got!”

Please call Barry today if you need to place an order for these things at 815-986-0460 ext 108.

Freedom Threads

This is a fundraising arm of our ministry that allows our ladies to make a small income to assist in the cost of their stay in the Women’s Home. We have high quality t-shirts and imprints available for purchase. If you or your church is in need of a custom t-shirt, then please contact us. Some ideas would be RU shirts as a fund raiser for your chapter, church softball team, youth department, custom RU or Kidz Club shirts, or personal customized shirts. Please call Will Fowler for a free quote at 815-986-0460 ext. 133.

Ministry Travel

Bro. Burks is currently booking travel for those who represent our ministry for the summer of this year. If you have a desire to book Bro. Steve Curington, Dr. George Crabb, Bro. Ben Burks, or any of the advanced trainers of our ministry, then please call Bro. Burks at 815-986-0460 ext. 109.  We seldom book out more than 90 days in advance so our chapters and supporting churches can have our services when needed most.

Question and Answer

We would like to begin a question and answer section for our Friday blogs. If you have a Friday blog question that you would like to see Bro. Curington or one of the staff answer, please submit these questions by addressing it FOUNDERS REPORT QUESTION and emailing it to weneedu@reformu.com and be sure to mention it as a Friday blog question. We may not be able to answer all of them but we will answer as many of them as we can and we sense your questions will help others develop their chapter as well.

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I was never a “bad” kid, when I was growing up, not by the world’s standards.  As a child, my parents did many bad things to me; things that would affect me much of the rest of my life.  I was raised in the Lutheran Church.  There I was taught about God, that Jesus died on the cross for me!  I wanted to go to heaven some day, when I died, but I didn’t know how to get there.  People always told me that God loved me but I didn’t really believe it.  I wanted to find someone who would truly love me.

All my life, I grew up feeling like I was unlovable.  I thought there was something wrong with me that no one loved me.  If my own family didn’t love me, how could God love me, when I really didn’t know Him or have a relationship with Him?  I tried to find ways to make my family love me.  I found that I was pretty good at sports so I immersed myself in them.  I joined the military, and went off to college all in vain attempts to find love.  Nothing worked!  While at college, wanting to fit in and be loved, I began drinking heavily and doing drugs.  I just wanted someone to say that they cared for me!

One spring day, one of my teammates shared the gospel with me and for the first time I realized that it had nothing to do with me!  It was all about what Jesus did for me!  He paid the price, he loved me enough to take my sin on Himself and pay the price for them with His own precious blood!  I realized that there was nothing that I had to do, not getting my family to be proud of me, not their love for me or their approval would get me to heaven, but God’s love and sacrifice was all that I needed.    That day I trusted Jesus as my Saviour and I began a new relationship with Him!  I didn’t know much else about God, so I remained in the Lutheran church.

At college, I met a boy who told me he loved me.  We married and 15 yrs. later I found out that he never truly loved me.  I had wanted so badly to find someone to love me that I was blinded to things that I should have noticed and been obvious to me long before I married him.  I was devastated for a long time.

I poured myself into my children.  I committed my everything to them in hope that they would love me!  Then my best friend had to move away but her brother and his family were moving in next door to me. I already knew them so I felt better.  They were going to a Baptist church and had invited my kids and I.

I went to church with them and discovered that there was a place where God’s word was preached without apology or compromise!  I knew right away that I needed to join that church.  I knew that if I wanted to learn to live right and to have a better life for me and my kids that FBC is where we needed to be.
We joined the church and through the grace of God, I have grown in the Lord!  I was struggling with a smoking addiction that I just could not overcome.  When Preacher announced that they were going to be starting an addictions program called RUI, I thought that this would finally be what I needed to overcome my addiction.  Although I had tried to quit many times before, I just could never do it.

I began to work the program and God started to prick at my heart, regarding my smoking.  Finally I gave up!  I gave it to God!  I told Him that I could not do it, I needed Him to help me.  He did and I have been free from the addiction of smoking for the last 3 and ½ yrs.  Fast forward to the day I found out that I was sick, very sick with cancer. Even though I knew better, I stopped relying on the Lord and went back to my smoking.  It was my “security blanket”.  I know that I truly hurt my Saviour’s heart when I did that but I felt so alone and once again as if no one loved me, not even my Lord!

Recently, God has shown me some areas in my life that I needed to deal with.  I have never dealt with the feelings of being unlovable  and that has plagued me all of my life.  I have always felt unloved and worthless all of my life.  Even though I know that God loves me, I still struggle with feeling like He really does love me.  I know myself better than anyone and I am well aware of my shortcomings, therefore it is hard for me to understand how He could love someone like me!  I am going through a process now, of painstakingly breaking down the walls that I have built up in my life over the last nearly 50 years.  I am beginning to understand that God does love me!  I am starting to understand that I am someone who could be loved by God and others.

Looking back over my life, I can see God’s hand in much of my life, guiding me every step of the way.  God is so merciful to me; He truly does love even a sinner like me.

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Dr. George Crabb

Good Morning! With only twenty-nine days left in 2009, I am sure that many people are planning their New Year’s resolutions for 2010. One of the most popular resolutions is the promise to stop smoking. However, it is also the resolution that usually doesn’t last past January. Why is it so hard to stop smoking?

Tobacco, with its drug nicotine, is probably the most widely abused chemical substance in the world. It is one of the most difficult addictions to conquer. It is difficult to conquer because there is not only a strong physical addiction to the nicotine which basically touches every part of the body but there is a significant psychological addiction to the activities associated with smoking. I have had some patients who struggled more with the psychological addiction than the physical, but both can be a formable foe. Tobacco is dangerous and deadly and needs to be taken seriously.

Cigarettes are designed to addict. They are chemically engineered to deliver nicotine to your brain. Along with the nicotine there are numerous other dangerous substances in the cigarette smoke which cause devastating health issues. Some of these substances are acetone, carbon monoxide, hydrogen cyanide and formaldehyde. These chemicals are added to the tobacco which makes the cigarette even more deadly. These added chemicals are given the general name “tar” and include everything in a cigarette but nicotine and water. The cigarette is manufactured with a deadly delivery system, designed to efficiently send high doses of nicotine to the brain. As you inhale the cigarette smoke, the tar infiltrates your lungs, and the nicotine “rides the tar” into the blood stream. As the cigarette smoke is inhaled there are over four thousand compounds present in that smoke to make that “rush” of nicotine faster and more enjoyable. Out of the over four thousand compounds present in cigarette smoke, at least sixty of them are known to be carcinogens (cancer-forming chemicals).

Tobacco is quite insidious with its consequences. Unlike cocaine, heroin, or other dangerous drugs, tobacco’s nicotine and poison can go undetected for many years. Tobacco can gradually create addiction to nicotine and gradually kill. Tobacco is legal and accessible, but it is one of the leading causes of death throughout the world, causing almost half a million deaths in the United States annually.

As people smoke cigarettes they are not only exposing themselves to the dangers of tobacco but also their loved ones and friends they smoke around. Second-hand smoke was once considered harmless but we now know better. Second-hand smoke is poisonous and it kills. It is estimated that exposure to second-hand smoke causes an estimated three thousand lung cancer deaths each year among non-smoking American adults.

Nicotine withdrawal is a very unpleasant process to go through. For you see, when you take nicotine away, your body craves it, and makes you feel like you need more nicotine or you will die or get sick. Your body will rebel with all kinds of symptoms such as: headaches, anxiety, depression, fatigue, hunger, trouble sleeping, thirst, decreased attention span, agitation, irritability, anger, and frustration amongst many others. The above symptoms can occur in just a few short hours after your last cigarette. They will be at their worst two to three days later and can last for weeks. It is not only a physical withdrawal from nicotine that a smoker goes through. In quitting tobacco, there are physiological and emotional changes that occur. For you see, smokers just don’t depend on nicotine physically. They depend on it behaviorally and psychologically. Smoking is what they do when they get together with friends. And, in fact, it is a major means by which they blow off steam when they are feeling tense. It is what they do while drinking their morning coffee or relaxing after dinner. That is why breaking the bondage of nicotine addiction can be difficult and, in fact, be harder to quit in some instances than heroin or cocaine. A patient of mine that was involved in polysubstance abuse (including tobacco) stated to me, “It (tobacco) was the hardest to quit, and it was the last to leave.” He went on to say, “The thoughts of tobacco use still haunt me.” But, breaking the bondage to your nicotine addiction is of vital importance for you and those around you. Breaking this bondage is well worth the effort.

So, we see the significance of breaking the bondage to nicotine/tobacco addiction. It is so important from the physical side as well as the mental side, but also, and even more importantly, from the spiritual side. What you need to do instead of picking up your cigarette with your morning coffee, pick up your Bible and read it. Instead of lighting up a cigarette on your drive home, put in a preaching CD or a Joy Belle music CD. Instead of a cigarette after dinner, take a walk and meditate on the things of God.

Friend, regardless of where you may be in your struggle with nicotine addiction, the good news is that there is life after cigarettes. Please trade in your cigarettes for Christ Jesus and your nicotine for the name above all names – Jesus. Let Him, the Truth, make you free…finally.

If you are deciding on a resolution for 2010, choose one that will bring glory to God! I Corinthians 6:19-20 tells us, “What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.”

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Tom with Nephew

As a child, I went to several schools including Catholic, Lutheran, and Baptist. The final school I attended was North Love Baptist School with Steve Curington during my ninth and part of tenth grade years. Then, I dropped out. I began using drugs and eventually began to see Steve Curington once again…only this time it was at parties, not the Baptist School. We saw each other at these parties for about a year before the time came when I began to use drugs with him. However, this did not last long as the United States government indicted me as part of the largest drug ring in the state of Illinois (and quite possibly the western half of the United States). Just to show you the magnitude of the devil’s control over my life, the government seized 1.2 billion dollars in drugs, cash, and real estate including: car lots, night clubs, hotels, gas stations, restaurants, cars, boats, homes, and jets from the group I was associated with. I, along with others I sold with, went off to prison for several years.

Little did I know that in the meantime, God got a hold of Steve Curington’s life, and he had gone back to church. When I got out of prison, God brought Reformers Unanimous to me, and I learned about the lives that were being changed as a result of it. I began to actively take part in the program. I struggled with my faith and with alcohol. All of the other activities and drugs I had been involved with previously were no longer tempting to me. However, my relationship with God and the abstinence from alcohol were the two things that would cause me to see how weak I really am and how desperately I needed God. I have attended RU locally for four years and have been working to assist in the ministry for three years. I am a helper in this ministry and am privileged to be a small part in the overall picture. If you ever want to meet me or find out more about me, you can visit me at the Men’s Discipleship Home. I am not far from the kitchen working. I am responsible for all of the food procurement of both our men and women’s homes.

At times, I struggle with wanting to take back the control of my life for a day or so, but it never lasts long. God will not allow it. God is blessing me, and He will bless you if you seek Him too. God is using Reformers. Just look around your Friday night meeting, and you will see Him at work; if you don’t have Reformers, you will have to get one and see God begin to work. If you once had a chapter, yet you gave up too soon on the addicts who suffer, please remember that God doesn’t give up. The devil tricked you and robbed you of not seeing this ministry serve the addicted. It is interesting to note that six of the men I sold drugs to earlier in life are now faithfully serving the Lord.

I dedicate this testimony to my mother, Diane Montena, for never doubting God nor giving up on me and the staff of the RU homes. I pray this testimony reaches just one.

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Jeremiah 29:14, “And I will be found of you, saith the LORD: and I will turn away your captivity, and I will gather you from all the nations, and from all the places whither I have driven you, saith the LORD; and I will bring you again into the place whence I caused you to be carried away captive.”

About halfway through my program at the Women’s School of Discipleship, my daughter would hardly speak to me. If she did, it was to be obedient; but not because she wanted to. It was exactly what I deserved. Though she is my step-daughter, I had begged God for her and a great relationship with her, to the point of there being no difference that she was really not my child. I had become so ungrateful for what God had given me. I had thrown away what God gave me.

To say I came here willingly or that I wanted to stay in the Women’s Home would be a BIG lie. So when I read this verse the words driven and captive really grabbed me. I took this verse to God and asked for her back. After this I got to spend the entire summer with my daughter, and God knit our hearts together once again.

So…last Saturday, I went with Erika to take her daughter, Tabi, to Midway airport. On the way there I told her how earlier that week I had to make a decision about something before we left for work, and I wasn’t really sure if I had made the right one. In times like these, I always ask God to give me a sign to show me it will be fine. I prefer to see a cardinal. So, on the way to work that day on the shuttle a cardinal flew right up to my window and away! Praise God, it was what I needed.

In the van, I couldn’t help but look at Erika and remember when just a year ago we were praying and asking for our daughters back. We talked about that and praised God for what He has done for us. Our summer with our daughters has been an answer to our prayers.

But, that is not all!  When we got to Midway airport, right in front of the entrance to the concourse is a huge pointillism sculpture hanging from the ceiling. It is a sculpture of a cardinal!! It was amazing. And right in the middle of it is a tiny white bird.

I’m so thankful God to spend the entire summer with my daughter, and she is now in bible college! I’m thankful to God for the opportunity for giving me a place to be driven to and be captive in order to get a relationship with God!! I don’t want to ever take advantage of what God has given me ever again. Thank you God a thousand times over!!

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We have a woman that was reached for Christ through our jail ministry about 18 months ago. She was recently facing 3-7 years in the Department of Corrections. The attorneys research showed what a dramatic change that God had made in her lifestyle. The states attorney reduced the charges so she could receive probation instead of prison and the Judge was completely in FAVOR of the decision.

She is on probation to our RU class for two years, We get her for 100 hours of community service, weekly counseling sessions, an anger management course to be taught by me and I have been designated by the court to do her drug testing also using the RU Plus System to report to the probation department.

Only our God could accomplish all these miracles in her life–FAVOR!

After all the legalities were completed the Judge made some wonderful open court statements for the record concerning Reformers Unanimous, and what is being accomplished in Knox County through our Reformers Institutional Program, and chaplaincy ministries. FAVOR was definitely shown to me and our RU Chapter here yesterday.

God bless you as you share the blessing of this miracle.

Dr Gary Bane, Pastor
Prairieland Baptist Church
Galesburg, IL

If you or someone know is interested in ministering to the incarcerated we have a full line of curriculum (click here) and Jeremy Amster would be happy to answer any questions you may have. You can reach him at 815-986-0460 ext. 124 or by emailing weneedu@reformu.com

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Shannon and Family

I grew up in a very strong, solid Christian home. My childhood memories are extremely happy and filled with love from my parents. My life revolved around church and school, so I knew only Christians. Accepting Jesus as my Savior at the age of five, I enjoyed many church activities as well as attending Christian school throughout my elementary years.

Although I was aware of a “world” out there somewhere, I had no clue what it
was all about. My parents were careful to shelter us from outside influences. When I was in 8th grade, my mother quit teaching to home school my brother and me. As I grew, I felt overly controlled. Although taught to obey and honor my parents, sometimes I didn’t understand all their rules. During my home-schooled high school years, it became very important to act right, speak right, and look right at all times. That’s when the games began.

I began “playing” Christianity because it seemed like the easiest solution. I went to Bob Jones University where my way of life was reinforced. By then, apathy had turned to rebellion—I was tired of playing church and just wanted out. Dropping out of Bob Jones my senior year, I went to bars; but I hated all the superficiality I felt there. I needed substance, and there was a big emptiness inside of me. I started searching, reading different philosophies, drawn to free thinkers like Timothy Leary, William F. Burroughs, and Hunter S. Thompson. I sought other people engaged in the same way of thinking. They were, of course, “drug people.” I started experimenting with hallucinogens that made me even more confused and the big empty hole even more hollow.

Then, one day, I was given my first line of coke. I remember thinking, “I finally found what I was looking for; I’m finally home.” Selling myself out, stealing, lying, and manipulating everyone I knew, produced guilt and the need for more drugs. Losing job after job, trying to quit, out of control, hiding my habit, more guilt, more drugs, losing all self-respect, my morals going down the drain, doing whatever I had to do just to get high. How glamorous did coke look now?

One night, God gave me a wake up call as I was flat on my back in a hospital bed. With my life out of control, I went to a secular outpatient program. It helped me understand how addiction works, but that big gaping hole that was back inside my heart. Then, I went to RU and learned that, in spite of everything I knew about the Bible and Christianity, if I did not have a growing, personal relationship with Jesus to allow the Holy Spirit to guide me, I could not know true peace and contentment.

My RU leader came to my house every week to disciple me. She taught me to love the Lord in a way I had never known in all my years in church and Christian college. I continued to go to RU and church as much as possible. Unfortunately, as a single mom and a waitress, I had to work most Fridays and Sundays. Nevertheless, I stayed in the Bible, praying and trying desperately to be a good Christian woman and mother. Now I know that I was trying to do it in my own strength. I thought that was what I was supposed to do—try really hard all by myself. I started to get down, really tired, overwhelmed, and eventually depressed. I believed Satan’s lie that I couldn’t do it anymore. “Once a coke-head, always a coke-head,” people had said about my attempts to get clean. I fell back into my addiction after almost two years clean and trying to live for God. That’s when God worked in a miraculous way to bring me to Rockford. I couldn’t do it in my own power.

I felt very blessed to be able to come to the Ladies’ Discipleship Home. God used it to show me so many things that could never be expressed in writing. The teaching and preaching that I got to sit under definitely helped me grow spiritually and develop a much closer walk with the Lord. One of the most important things that I learned is that under the Holy Spirit’s guidance, the rest of my life on earth will be constant change and growth towards being more Christ-like. I will never and should never be comfortable and content to stop growth and learning. The other important concept I needed to learn was concerning my self-righteousness. I learned to die daily and dedicate myself everyday to knowing and doing God’s will. God taught me and changed my heart towards others. I now realize that I had lived my life selfishly, and that it’s not about me, but others. God has blessed me with a godly husband, and the restoration of the relationships with my family, especially my mother; but most of all, the relationship with my Lord Jesus Christ. I no longer am living with all the anxiety and depression that I once felt. That big gaping hole in my heart is now being filled.

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My name is Gloria Crutchfield. Born in 1952, I was the middle child of seventeen siblings. We grew up with a father and mother. My father died when I was nineteen.

Although my childhood seemed “normal” to me, I just did not know what I was missing. Growing up in such a large family, we were not hugged, kissed, or loved on. After seeing television programs showing loving all-American families, my understanding was that, “only white people get treated like that.” It is often amazing the way people come to think, solely because of the way they are raised; not to mention that, back then, we hardly ever saw black people on television.

I grew up just wanting to be loved. I learned to do good things in order to gain favor from my parents as well as other people in my life. With the way of thinking I had learned, I started believing that I had to make up and substitute somehow for not being pretty, for being poor, and whatever else I thought I lacked, in order to be loved. In my world, love seemed to be something earned or exchanged.

Yes, I needed to feel love, and I was deceived by a young man with his promise that I was loved. At the age of nineteen, I had a baby as a direct result of believing that somebody loved me.

It was upon my Dad’s passing that I started my drug use. I could not stand to be me because I was ashamed to show “me” out in the world.

After thirty-five years of abusing drugs, one form after another, I suffered a stroke at the age of fifty-one. It was then that I was introduced to my mentor’s best friend, Jesus. I was saved and I started attending Reformers Unanimous. I didn’t think I would ever be able to stop using drugs, until I met my Savior, Jesus. He showed me the way, the truth, and the life.

It was re-enforced in my spirit about the One called Jesus. I have been free these past three years, more than I’ve ever been. After so long in the world, it has been a process of sanctification; but believe it or not, I enjoy this process. For, to what else in my life can I compare it? There is nothing. Thank you, Jesus!!

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